Jay Jay the Banay-nay lay chill in his Moroccan patterned fruit bowl. Chin’ chillin’ with his buddies Jay Jay was the life and soul of the party. The apples bobbed with laughter at Jay Jay’s jokes while the grapes guffawed – boring bastards – and the oranges danced out of their skin to his beatz. Every bowl of fruit is brought to life with a Banay-nay. Jay Jay took full advantage of his stature in the fruit world, taking favours from passing compadres and taxing those who stayed for longer as if the bowl were his personal hotel.
Jay Jay had lived in the bowl for almost two days, the green of ripe now becoming the sunny yellow of tasty goodness. Since he had arrived he’d witnessed the rather mysterious disappearance of two apples, an avocado and the only other banay-nay he’d come across in this paradisic bowl. It did not bother Jay Jay though, he was king today and that was what he kept at the front of his mind. This bowl was his bowl, he’d tell himself as the apples appropriated his investments in authentic bottled Fiji water.
“Actually, fuck this.” Jay Jay the banay-nay pronounced to the bowl, sprouting a slick and well defined pair of arms and legs and strolling out into the open kitchen. His fellow fruits had no reaction to this miracle, for like Jay Jay, they had no eyes.
Jay Jay stumbled around the kitchen for a short while before crossing into the garden by sheer chance. As soon as he stepped over, though, he knew where he was. He’d spent months chillin’ in the sun with his buddies as a child. A heat so strong and penetrating is not one he could forget. Jay Jay basked for a short while, enjoying his reunion with what he regarded as his father, before standing up once again – still with a little amazement at his newfound ability – and walked with purpose and direction towards the source of his warmth.
“Mum! Mum! Come quick! What the-!” Exclamation abounded the first boy to see a banana walking through the sky. The boys mother rushed out with the beckons of her little boy.
“What’s happening son?” she inquisited , noticing that he looked, for once, without a scratch, just a look of complete and total astonishment. The boy simply pointed to a spot almost 6 feet off the ground and the mother quickly found the focus of his amazement. “Oh. My. God.” She whipped out her phone and took as many videos as she could before snatching the banana with arms and legs out of the air. The moment she did, however, the limbs retracted back into the banana and it became once again a simple, yet so tasty, fruit.
“Eat it, son,” the mother handed her boy the banana, “I have a feeling even now that this banana is special.”
Glancing at her, and then curiously at the banana, the boy split the skin, peeled the sides and took as big a bite as he could. Mother would swear that she had heard a tiny wail right then, but as soon as the boy swallowed out sprouted an extra pair of legs and arms. His four arms now all split out at the shoulder, while his two new legs erupted from his butt cheeks. The boy passed out immediately and the mother soon followed suit. Jay Jay the Banay-nay lived on.